Jeremy Bartlett from a Motorola Droid
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Aliens are coming to abduct all women w/good PUSSY and men w/BIG DICK! You are not in any danger! I was textn u 2 tell u gdbye!
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Cuz i have lots going on in my life. And i was going through my phone and deleted people who i don't talk to. And you were one of those numbers!
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If i came with a WARNING label what would it say? Answer me then forward 2 ur friends n see what all u get back.
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There's two couples living in a house. Two gay guys and a straight couple. The house catches on fire. Which couple gets out first?
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NDNz passd a white guy whose car broke down. They asked "whats wrong?" He said "piston broke." They said "come wit us were pissed an broke 2".
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Innie minnie miney moe im a pimp &u my hoe, u will pay me every day &u will do whatever i say. Pimp everyone before they pimp yOu. Pimps up Hoes
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@elton They once said that a nigger would be president when pigs fly. His first 100 days and *bam* swine flu .
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@elton This sex, Is sex, How sex, U sex, Keep sex, A sex, Dumb sex, Ass sex, Busy sex, 4 sex, 20 seconds. Read again but dont read the word sex
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@elton What do u get if u cross GPS with PMS? A BITCH that can find u ANYWHERE!
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@elton Do you think the inventor of the dildo heard voices in his head saying "if you build it they will cum?!"
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elton Think ur life is bad? Try bein an egg. U only get laid & eaten once, it takes 20mins 2get hard & the only chick to sit on ur face is ur mama! Happy Easte
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@elton What do u call an empty beer bottle with 5 June bugs inside? A redneck viberator!
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What do u call an empty beer bottle with 5 June bugs inside? A redneck viberator!
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There's two couples living in a house. Two gay guys and a straight couple. The house catches on fire. Which couple gets out first?
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Indians passed a white guy whose car broke down. They asked "whats wrong?" He said "piston broke." They said "come wit us were pissed an broke 2".
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@elton Just bought a racehorse named 'My Face'. Hes not any good but I can't wait to hear all the women in the crowd screamin "Come on My Face"!
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@elton ''Breaking news'' Kermit da frog just passed away from da Swine flu. He caught it from eatin Ms Piggy out!
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@elton I'm SO FUCKING PISSED! I lost 3 hoes today, 1 at the strip club, 1 at the corner, and WHERE THE FUCK R U?
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@elton Did I like fuck dumb another to it send retard a like this reading time ass sweet your took you since. (Now read it backwards)
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Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:3:4)
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@victoria The post office just released a stamp in the shape of a vagina; unfortunately they have to recall it bcuz only 3% of men know how 2 lick it properly
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There is not a righteous man on earth who does what is right and never sins. (Ecclesiastes 7:20)
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@brandy CNN reported yesterday that kermit the frog has died of swine flu. It seems that after all these years he finally eat miss piggy's pussy.
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