Matthew Stevens from a G1

Elephant asked a camel: Why are your boobs on your back? Camel said: Ain't that some shit, coming from a fucker with a limp dick on his face!

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Let's test the way u think... thepenisinmymouth... Did u read the pen is in my mouth? Haha Hell no u didn't! Pass it on-!

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Theres a report of a drunk naked idiot wearin snowboots singin free bird ridin a lawn mower down the highway. Where the fuck are u g0ing?

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What goes in hard and moist and comes out sticky and wet? Bubblegum you pervert!

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Tomorrow is "Hug a retard day" - So dont freak out like you did last year. Nobody is trying to steal your fuckin helmet or crayons ok...

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What are the small bumps around a womans nipples for? Its Braille for 'suck here'.

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Boy asks his mom "why am I black and U are white?" She says "Dont even go there. The way that fuckin party went ur lucky u don't bark!

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3 guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" guy on the left says, he's had the same dream, too. guy in the middle says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"

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Husband & wife have been arguing all day. They drive past a herd of jackasses. Husband says, relatives of yours? Wife says yep in-laws.

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Redneck thought of the day: Drinkin non alcoholic beer is like goin down on ur cousin...Sure it tastes the same, but it aint fuckin right!

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Why does a hooker make more money than a drug dealer? Because a hooker can rewash her crack and sell it again.

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A 1st grade teacher asks little Tyrone what sound does a Pig make. He replys "HANDS ON THE HOOD MOTHERFUCKER!

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I'm SO PISSED!! I lost 3 retarded friends today, 1 at McDonalds, 1 at Walmart and WHERE YOU AT? I TOLD Y'ALL TO HOLD HANDS!.

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A husband & wife arrive in heaven. Wife says "Here we are together again." Husband says "Fuck that shit! The deal was til death do us part!"

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Why do cops hate hillbilly murder cases? Because theres no dental records and all the dna matches.

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Blonde gets a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh. She says if you put your ear next to it you can actually smell the fish.

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What do u call an empty beer bottle with 50 bumble bees inside? A redneck vibrator!

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Compared to German Beer, why is American beer more like makin love in a Canoe? Because its Fucking Close to WATER!

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How many animals can you fit in a pair of panty hose? 2 calves,an ass,a beaver,a whole shitload of hares, 1 camel toe and a fish nobody can find!

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This girl just asked me if l prefer legs or breasts. I said l'm more into shaved pussy. Apparently this is not an exceptable answer at kfc!

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